Conversations about Gender

Gender is something we talk about in our lives without even realizing that we're talking about gender. The earliest memory of talking about gender is from when I was about 3 years old. I wanted to go outside and play but my mom told me that I had to brush my hair before I could play. I really wanted to start playing and didn't want to brush my hair, and I remember my mom saying "Don't you want to look pretty?"  Although this may not sound like it's about gender it really is. There are a lot of pressures on girls to be feminine and care about how they look. A little boy would never be told that his hair was too messy to play. Then the most recent conversation was also about the pressures women have about their appearances. I was talking to this woman and we were talking about working out. She said something about how we need "to look hot because Valentines Day is coming up". She was saying that to get a man you had to be looking good. This emphasizes the expectation that women must take care of their appearances. I think I need to start thinking about the way I talk about gender in conversations even when I'm directly talking about gender.